Four Pillars of A Marriage Relationship
Posted: Monday, July 28, 2008
by Chiradeep
e-Counseling
Relationship is very important. A Marriage relationship is all the more important. Maintaining a marriage is an art. Those who learn the art of maintaining their marriage are always happier than others who do not know this art.
I have seen couples fighting with each other in front of others. I feel pity on them for their immaturity. They do not understand the fact that the person or the guest sitting in front of them is an outsider and what they are doing in front of him or her, supposed to do when they are alone at home. Again sometimes partners take each others for granted. They think that the other will understand her or him. Sometimes they do not speak the right word at right time, they could not express what they feel and sometimes they do not even try to understand the feelings of the other. The relationship strains. Misunderstandings increase. If it continues for a couple of months, marriage breaks.
After much thinking I found out four vital steps for a marriage relationship. These steps are like four pillars, which will be really helpful to maintain the relationship and hold it together till the end. These pillars are as follows:
Know Yourself: This is the most important factor to stay, maintain and grow in any relationship, especially in a marital bond. If a person cannot understand or is unaware of his own feelings and emotions then its very difficult for him to express his needs and expectations to his better half and vice versa. A person has to know and aware what he wants, what he expects and what he needs exactly from his wife and vice versa. Then only he/she can proceed to the next step.
Express Yourself: This is the next step after a person understands himself properly. The expressions and interactions should always be clear and simple in a marriage relationship. Usually it has been seen that most husbands hide about their friend circles from their wives and the wives hide few expenses, which they do without asking their husbands. There should be transparency between both of them. They should always be open to each other in every matter and situation.
Know Your Partner: Just think if you dont understand your partners feelings and emotions, what will happen. This is the main reason why the families and marriages are broken today. It is very important for a husband and a wife to understand each others feelings and emotions. Beware: Do not take each other for granted.
Understand The Effects of Your Behaviours: The behaviour, which is an outward expression, can be fatal sometimes. The spouses should be held responsible for the actions and reactions they show to each other when they are alone together and in the public place as well. In that case each one should think twice before expressing them about the effect or result of their behaviour because they cannot take it back or withdraw later. Each word, each action or reaction has an eternal effect. So the bottom line is the spouses should be responsible for their behaviours.
The above four pillars are not inbuilt. But needed to be built and rebuilt by the spouses. The spouses should be considerate to each other while practicing the steps regularly in their daily lives. They should not get angry instead they should make fun of each other when they are alone and rectify each others mistake.
Remember! Consideration is the key word while building these four vital pillars in a marriage relationship.
Family is a GIFT of God and is PRECIOUS"
SAVE FAMILIES
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Great insights, Candles! It's clear that what you've written is heart-felt. Keep those great articles coming!Thanks a lot! Great insight! That's true. But somany times I failed in doing so, i.e., 'understanding my dear wife.' Anyways thanks.
hi TC,those are some very intelligent pillars.treat each other as you would want to be treated.this was a well written, interesting article.now, keep writing :)my best regards,sue thomThanks a lot Sue!
Excellent points! Mark and I have a wonderful relationship. Built on the pillars you mentioned and led by God. God first, family second and work third.Right orders...Thanks for the comment. You encouraged me. May God bless you and your family abundantly.
Great article, Candles. I have seen couples shame themselves by acting this way in public; but it is truly much worse if they do it in front of their children--there is where the hurt lies. No child should be subjected to seeing and hearing their parents act like spoiled adolescents.Thanks for sharing.Sandra E.You are right Sandra. Its such a sad thing. I am really burdened for the families today.
Good information, Candles. I tell my husband to treat me better than my best friend. I do the same and usually, we have an excellent rapport. We talk for a good hour every night and I can't imagine not having him as a sounding board or missing out on the good and bad of his day. Thanks for sharing.Thanks Lorrie again for your sweet comment. I think we all of us can do something for many broken families.
These are some good points that you have mentioned...Keep it up